Thursday, April 28, 2011


I love reptile limbs. They remind me of muppets how they don't really seem to have joints and they're just sort of floppy.

Can you imagine seeing this guy in the wild? Eating a bucket? That would be so scary. Today on my bike ride to work I saw a goose. It seems all innocent, but this goose was out for blood I tell you! Here's the full story of the goose:

It started months ago when I first spotted a stray goose on a little side road that I take on my way to work. I thought "Oh, a goose!" and then "He's all alone. He must be lost". I actually worried about this goose. I don't like seeing geese by themselves. But a couple days later there were two geese and they walked around the road like they owned the place. Like their farts don't stink, ya know?

Some astute readers of this complete waste of time blog may remember mention of another goose run-in with a family member of mine. My mother was knocked off her bike by a goose. Now I don't know what my family ever did to geese, but apparently we drew first blood and geese don't forget that. So it makes me weary you know, this unspoken feud my family shares with geese. I could feel it in my bones. I was next.

So this morning I'm bicycling along my route to work when I take a left turn (as always) onto a little quiet block. At the very end of the block in the middle of the road, stands a goose. I bike towards him, my heart racing, my nose dripping with anticipation (I have a cold). He starts honking. He takes a few steps towards me as I get closer and honks louder and more insistent. Frantic honking. Honking for his life. I go "whoa" and swerve around him using my super duper bike skills. He looked pissed. I won this round. Take that, Goose! As I pedaled away I saw a taxi cab come to a complete stop in front of the goose. I couldn't bear to watch the bloodbath that this goose most definitely had in store for these unsuspecting passengers, these next victims in his bloody killing spree. I just couldn't bear it. So I'm at work now. My safe goose-free work.

And that's that.



  1. i'd find another route home from work, bullys like that will wait for you! hide your lunch $$

  2. my mother was bitten by a goose.
    true story!

  3. Holy cow! That image is incredible - I can't stop looking at it!

  4. Looks a bit like Darwins infamous Croc that had to be killed, they called it Sweet heart.

    Did you know that Crocs are the most romantic Aussie animals, and the least leaf munching Koala rapists basically, good bye to romance with those cute little fellas!! :)


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