Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Bored = Google "funny animals"

Some photos are just stupid and cheesy and not funny at all, but then I remember I'm at work googling "funny animals" and I have the diet of a booze-fuelled eight year old, so I try not to judge. But I have made some observations.

 My extensive research in this field has led me to conclude several key points.
  • Cats are hilarious and bad ass. They hate you, and that's funny!
  • Boxes on heads are funny.
  • Sleepy animals are funny.
  • Dressing animals in clothes is NOT funny. 
  • Giving a slow loris a little umbrella is funny and adorable. I love that guy.
  • Animals watching tv are funny. 
  • Wrinkly dogs are funny dogs, but Marmadukes are the funniest. He's so clumsy and can't control his limbs! Hot Dog is also a funny dog - he hates baths and loves sandwiches!
  • Animals looking like they're masturbating is NOT funny. Animal penises are NOT funny. And that's a shame because it really ruins a lot of otherwise good pictures of donkeys.
  • Wet cats are funny. 
  • Panda bears are hilarious. They just seem like adorable furry people. I can picture panda bears doing everything people do: playing baseball, eating baloney, waiting in line at Starbucks, snaking a drain. I wouldn't be surprised if one day someone fesses up to just inventing the panda bear and they're like "listen guys, so awhile ago, a bunch of us just thought it would be fun to dress like this funny and adorable bear guy, and well, they're not real. It's just costumes and special effects and Hollywood and dedicated actors in panda suits". I'd be all "Right. Totally. I completely understand and it all makes sense to me. I am not surprised one bit at this news."
And that's that.

    Wednesday, September 7, 2011

    Able Design

    It's no surprise that I love animal related things. Well, maybe it is. But anyway, I love these posters by Able Design. Their animals have names and adjectives, which is great because then I can make up little stories in my head about these guys and just HOPE that they'll have action figures one day to act things out.

    Able Design
    So here's Humphrey. He's happy, but that's only because he's also too dumb to know any better. He's in love with a poacher's wife, even though she's been with half the jungle and has a lazy eye. But I guess he loves her anyway and you can't stand in the way of love. One day he received a letter in the mail and it told a story about an albino gorilla who was struck by lightning and would go out haunting and killing on the third moon of each month unless you sent the letter on to five friends with a jar of jelly. If they eat the jelly before the sun comes up then you'll be blessed with good fortune cookie fortunes and be lucky in love. So he sent the letter and jelly to his friends and waited. His next fortune cookie read "A fool knows when he's a beaten. A beaten fool is really beaten. A beaten egg is scrambled." So it's obvious how THAT ended for him.

    Able Design
    Caesar is a friendly lion, but in an ironic way. So he's actually not friendly. It's sort of joke on the savannah. Like the antelopes will be at the ol' watering hole and say "Did you see what Caesar did to Joe? That shit be cold!" and another antelope will say "Man, he's a friendly mother fucker, ain't he?" and the antelopes will all be like "FOR REAL!" because it doesn't really make sense but they just need to say something to take their minds off poor Joe, bled out in the grass after this cold killer got him by the throat.

    Able Design
    Edmund is so fucking passionate it's unreal. Here is a short list of things he's passionate about: adventure, actuarial math, anarchy, achieving the impossible, artichoke dip, afghan horses, Amazing Race, assassinations. That's just "A". There's still the rest of the alphabet, with all those other letters. I just used "A" as an example because it made sense to start with the first letter. He's passionate about alphabetizing also.

    Thursday, September 1, 2011

    Gopher Hole Museum

    I can't believe things like this even exist. But they do, and I'm happy for that. I think. I'm undecided. Taxidermy is sort of a strange gray area for me, like throwing a cat into a snowbank. It's sort of neat to see, but I feel a little guilty about it. But gophers! Doing people things! If I was a gopher, I think this would be a perfectly respectful use of my dead body. I'd be the gopher lady with the groceries, but it would mostly be filled with peanut butter and zoodles.

    All photos (and more!) here