Thursday, March 7, 2013

Cat Hanger

Have you guys seen these cat hangers?

I actually bought one of these. I hate myself a little bit more for doing so, but it has practical reasons! I'm not a crazy person so I don't dress up my actual cat, because that is crazy to actually dress a real cat. But it's not crazy to want to, because what sane person wouldn't want to see a pretty little cat in a pretty little party dress? Exactly.
So now I can put a pretty dress on the hanger and be all like "oh well, Miss Kitty, now aren't you the belle of the ball?" and "Heavens to Betsy! If that neckline plunged any lower, you'd be a certified plumber!" and then maybe if I was in a bad mood and feeling snarky I'd be like "Oh. I... like it. I do. But maybe, well maybe because you have more of a modest bust than I do, I don't know it just sort of hangs there and isn't really filled out as much on you. Like you can't even tell you have boobs in this. Yes, they're on the smaller side, smaller than mine, but you do have them at least." But I'd mostly be nice to the cat hanger I think, because she's seen me cry when I can't get my pants on.

So in conclusion: Crazy is dressing up a real cat, but Not Crazy is buying a cat hanger and then talking to it and making it your best friend.

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

I Wake Up Screaming

I like this movie title. I've been having such a terrible time waking up lately - I blame old  man winter stealing the sunshine! Although I don't wake up screaming, I do mumble a lot and act grouchy, and I'd probably scream a little bit if I was more awake.

I want to watch this movie though. I'm going to make a list of 100 classic movies to watch and then intend on watching them but then probably never do it. THOUGHT THAT COUNTS.

Thursday, November 15, 2012

Tulip Farms

Do tulip farms need some idiot running around the fields, shrieking like a maniac? Because I think I can do that. In fact, I may be overqualified. My idiocy knows no bounds.


Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Indecent Proposal

So I got proposed to, no big thang. Duncan just wants to spend an entire lifetime with me forever and ever until a murder/suicide do us part. I think he's making a big mistake, but if he's too dumb to know that then  maybe we're a good match after all.

The proposal story goes like this: we were in the highlands of Scotland walking back from town to his parent's house and we stopped to look at some cows, which is pretty typical of me because I could watch those guys for hours, even though they were just regular ones and not the highland cows. I talked about one cow for a few minutes until Duncan put his arm around me and said "oh, you like that cow?" and I said "yeah" thinking that maybe he's finally warming up to the idea of us having some livestock all up in here, and then he asked me to be the next Mrs. Macdonald (and if a lady with that name can't have a couple cows then I don't know who should!). Anyways, WORST SEGUE EVER. From cow to marriage. And I didn't even get that cow out of it.

So now I'm kinda planning a wedding, but by planning I mean looking at pinterest a lot. I've concluded that most weddings are expensive and tacky. I always thought I'd have more like a picnic wedding with lots of pie, but it turns out we're having a big, Scottish wedding in Scotland and we have to have formal invitations and not use swear words on them.

Here are a few of the things I want to incorporate into the wedding:

I want to make "wedding pi├▒atas" a thing. 

Source: via Diana on Pinterest
Highland Cows
I'm hoping having a bunch of cute cows around me can help me not look like an idiot in photographs. Because that's how I tend to look.

Balloons make things fun.

I ate four donuts the other day. And while I'm admitting embarrassing things about myself, I called my cat Honey Boo Boo the other day.

Source: via Diana on Pinterest

Any wedding tips?