Cat Hanger

Have you guys seen these cat hangers?

theclearlydope.tumblr.com via Diana on Pinterest

I actually bought one of these. I hate myself a little bit more for doing so, but it has practical reasons! I'm not a crazy person so I don't dress up my actual cat, because that is crazy to actually dress a real cat. But it's not crazy to want to, because what sane person wouldn't want to see a pretty little cat in a pretty little party dress? Exactly.
So now I can put a pretty dress on the hanger and be all like "oh well, Miss Kitty, now aren't you the belle of the ball?" and "Heavens to Betsy! If that neckline plunged any lower, you'd be a certified plumber!" and then maybe if I was in a bad mood and feeling snarky I'd be like "Oh. I... like it. I do. But maybe, well maybe because you have more of a modest bust than I do, I don't know it just sort of hangs there and isn't really filled out as much on you. Like you can't even tell you have boobs in this. Yes, they're on the smaller side, smaller than mine, but you do have them at least." But I'd mostly be nice to the cat hanger I think, because she's seen me cry when I can't get my pants on.

So in conclusion: Crazy is dressing up a real cat, but Not Crazy is buying a cat hanger and then talking to it and making it your best friend.