Election Day

So, I've never voted before. I'm lazy, and frankly, I don't really know how. Also, I don't really mind so much. The issues I genuinely care about aren't exactly hot topics with the candidates. Here's a short list:

• Motorcycles are too loud.
• I don't like being forced into standing ovations.
• No late-comers to the cinema. 
• People who don't pick up their dog's poo have to eat it or something gross.
• The police don't always have to be so mean and law-enforcing. Maybe sometimes they could be positive and polite and encourage good behaviour. They could say "Wow. That was so nice of you to wait for the walking man to light up when you crossed that intersection!" or "Hey! I saw you pick up that litter and put it in the bin! Good work, citizen!" or "You looked pretty when you came to that full stop!"
• There should be more canals around. Canals are grossly underused in Canada.
• No bumpy roads.

I realize I sound a bit like a sociopathic grandma.

Well, off to the voting stations. Do I pull a lever or something? Or tick a box? Throw a walnut in a hole? I am so not prepared for this.