Portland

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I'm visiting Portland for the first time this weekend. My goals are to go to Target for some globe string lights, eat a crazy donut, drink some delicious beers and run around in the forest. I'll probably also get a little too drunk and say "put a bird on it" too many times and the probably want to punch myself in the face. I'm just being real here. You gotta be real. Like plants. I  hate fake plants. I will kill a thousand live plants before I get a fake one. ONE THOUSAND. And I'm probably getting pretty close. Just kidding. I've maybe killed twenty plants. Just kidding. I didn't kill them, they passed away naturally in their sleep. Just kidding. Plants don't sleep, my cat sleeps. Just kidding. She doesn't sleep, she always has one eye open. Just kidding. Sometimes she closes both eyes but then I poke her and go "Hey". Just kidding. Hay is for horses. Just kidding. Hay is for lots of animals. Just kidding. Probably not puppies. Just kidding. Puppies could like hay. I don't know. Just kidding. I do know. Just kidding. I don't know. I just like puppies. Just kidding. I like other stuff too. Like cotton candy. Just kidding.

Did you guys see Kristen Wiig as Judy Grimes on SNL? I watched it TWICE, which now that I've written that in caps lock doesn't seem very impressive.