Little Known Facts About Me

1. I don't like biting into apples. Mainly this is because I'm scared my teeth will break, since they're veneers after having smashed my face into the cement on my bike. But I also don't like biting into apples because I imagine I look horse-faced when I do. Although I also think I look horse-faced when I yawn, and I yawn all the time, because frankly, you bore me.

2. I feel like I have at least one fly in my ear holes sometimes. I hear it go "whoosh", and then I make myself look slightly retarded by pressing my ear down towards my shoulder and probably twitching a little. I'm not retarded. I just think I have a fly in my ear.

3. I don't like the whole vampire craze. I don't care about vampires. I like werewolves, because they're really just like wolves pretty much, and when I was in grade two the wolf was my favourite animal and I wrote that in my journal ten times every day about how much I loved wolves. Also, Teen Wolf was a great movie.

4. I tried to watch a video the other day about a giant centipede catching and eating a bat, but I couldn't watch all the way through, because although I thought the centipede looked sort of cute with all his legs and I know he has to eat something, I just felt really bad for the bat, because he was probably just flying around with his friends and then he gets eaten. That's a sad ending. UNLESS it was a trick title and no one gets eaten and they sort of high five eachother and then have brunch?

5. I don't like participating in things if it's not my idea. Yes, I'm a party pooper. My friend Andrew used to say something like "Did you have a big dinner?" and I'd say "Why?" and he'd say "BECAUSE YOU'RE POOPING ALL OVER THIS PARTY". Except usually they were trying to get me to agree to having a pie thrown in my face, and not like, participate in a bake sale. Boys!