Vintage Travel Posters

When I was younger, my only dream was to travel around the world. I had delusions of being some sort of wandering free spirit that didn't wear shoes and said "right on, man" and smoked from hookahs and had run ins with foreign police. I'd be a cross between Dean Moriarty and Sissy Hankshaw, and I'd be on the road. Just GOING, ya dig?

Turns out that's crazy talk. I'm way too simple for those sort of adventures. I would probably explode. I quite literally had a dream last night that I was in an elevator. And that was it. Just being in an elevator. So my dreams have changed a little bit. I've lowered my expectations a tad.

UNLESS we're talking about time travel. THAT I would be all over. I love the big ol' stupid internet, and sure it makes things easy, but it really takes away the romance and mystery of travel. Places just don't really seem exotic anymore. I want to live and travel in Hemingway's Africa, in Kahlo's Mexico, in Glassco's Paris, in Neruda's Chile. In their times. When pianos bars were smoky and filled with jazz and blues and the air of revolt! When the early morning streets were dirty and dusty and filled with songs fueled by tequila! When the air was filled with voices and language and laughter and secrets!

These posters take me there. To that time, to those places, to that magic. (All images from grain edit)

I can not believe people actually shoot animals. Come on. Watch some Disney movies. Side note: I almost got hit with a piece of a toilet bowl at a football game in Argentina. Another note: I did get hit with a frozen fish at a hockey game in Canada. I know what it's like to be a target. 

I love this. TABLES TURNED. Nowadays I've heard of radioactive boars being on the rise around there, which probably makes hunting a lot more interesting. And more radioactive too.

I went to Switzerland and had a cheese fondue, and it totally makes sense that they advertise cheese as a reason to visit. DEE-licious. Second reason to visit: cows wearing bells on their necks.

 

I would definitely go to Finland if I got to go there by way of flying fish plane. Maybe even in a regular plane.

 

I want to go to Africa so bad, but I sort of die in the heat. Also, a lot of what I know about Africa comes from those commercials about foster kids, and I really don't like the idea of flies crawling all over my face. The other bit I know about Africa comes from the Simpsons episode where they win a trip there.  "I want to ride in a convertible with zebras, punch out Mohammad Ali, shoot a lion in the face..."

I love Paris, even though there's lots of dog poop. The bums drink wine out of paper bags in the streets! You know what's in the paper bags here? Glue and syphillis and a world of broken dreams.

Participation!

I don't normally participate in things (lazy! lack of motivation!) but I thought I would join in this game of tag going around to help me finish off my work day.

It started with kelli g. of bug miscellany and then went on to Brooke Ann Dove of On the Wings of a Dove and then Ana from Erban and then Maddy from Madeline Elle. Probably others too.

What is your theme song?

Ca Plane Pour Moi by Nouvelle Vague - I don't know any of the words.

   
Where is it you are dying to visit?

Africa. I want to see all those animals before the poachers get them.
I also want to have breakfast with giraffes.
 

Namibia

If you were a cupcake, what flavor would you be?
Cherry-vanilla, because I'm just a little bit sassy, but mostly I'm boring and watch too much tv. 

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If you had an arch nemisis, what would his/her name be?
 Sir Walter Alarm Clock. I'm a sleepyhead.

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If you could live as any ficitonal character, which would it be?  Why?

Maybe Big Bird because then I'd be best friends with Snuffy.

Andy Goldsworthy (and my terrible temper)

I've loved Andy Goldsworthy's work from the first moment I saw the documentary Rivers and Tides. That was the day the Documentary channel proved its worth to me, and then cemented that proof with a film about female pimps later that week.

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His work is beautiful and soothing and calm, although painstakingly tedious to construct. In Rivers and Tides, it shows him piling stone after stone to make his signature hive structures, only to have the whole thing collapse on him after hours of work. He looks defeated, sure, but he just sighs and starts piling rocks again.

That is some impressive self control.

I just recently used a metal file to file some skin off my thumb, and then proceeded to stab my hand with a screwdriver (I drew blood, no biggie). So I threw the makeshift bowling pin lamp at the couch and shrilly exclaimed "I DON'T WANT TO DO THIS RIGHT NOW!". At that point I can't help but think to myself: "take it easy, lady". Take it easy, indeed.

Farm Animals

I think it would be so great to grow up on a farm, around animals. I like to think I'd be like Charlotte from Charlotte's Web where she tried to save the animals instead of slaughtering them. Oh wait. Charlotte was the spider. Well, that's ok too. She tried to save Wilbur also. But I was really talking about the little girl in the story. 

Anyways, here's some pretty photos of farm animals, all from National Geographic.

Black Sheep

Poor little black sheep. I loved when we were in Scotland last year around lambing time or whatever it's called and all the little baby lambs were in the fields with all these turnips (which I though were rocks). Lambs and turnips make a very adorable combination.

Pigs

Now that's adorable. And even the momma is pretty cute. Although this pig reminds of Jackass 3 when a pig eats an apple out of a very fat bum. That poor pig. It must have really liked apples. I thought pigs were supposed to be smart, but eating bum apples isn't very smart.

Stallions Fighting

This fight scene seems a little forced. No one is really into it, and I just don't see any intensity in their eyes. Stallions, you're fired. Pretty hair though.

(Intense) Shetland Cow

See this guy? You can't even see his eyes, but you know he's intense. That is one intense cow! He is very, very focused on something. Or he's sleeping.

Cows

This is like an ad for a dairy campaign or something. Happy cows with access to fresh water, a huge field for grazing and the prettiest open sky. Across the water? Abattoir.

I hope one day I'll live in a nice little place where I could have some little animal friends and maybe a goat that would stand on a cow, like in that Radiolab story. I would still never tell custom officials that I've been on a farm though. That's still an acceptable lie (even though I really want to tell them: "I was on a farm! I saw little baby lambs and touched a cow!")