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Thursday, November 15, 2012
Tulip Farms
Do tulip farms need some idiot running around the fields, shrieking like a maniac? Because I think I can do that. In fact, I may be overqualified. My idiocy knows no bounds.
Wednesday, November 14, 2012
Indecent Proposal
So I got proposed to, no big thang. Duncan just wants to spend an entire lifetime with me forever and ever until a murder/suicide do us part. I think he's making a big mistake, but if he's too dumb to know that then maybe we're a good match after all.
The proposal story goes like this: we were in the highlands of Scotland walking back from town to his parent's house and we stopped to look at some cows, which is pretty typical of me because I could watch those guys for hours, even though they were just regular ones and not the highland cows. I talked about one cow for a few minutes until Duncan put his arm around me and said "oh, you like that cow?" and I said "yeah" thinking that maybe he's finally warming up to the idea of us having some livestock all up in here, and then he asked me to be the next Mrs. Macdonald (and if a lady with that name can't have a couple cows then I don't know who should!). Anyways, WORST SEGUE EVER. From cow to marriage. And I didn't even get that cow out of it.
So now I'm kinda planning a wedding, but by planning I mean looking at pinterest a lot. I've concluded that most weddings are expensive and tacky. I always thought I'd have more like a picnic wedding with lots of pie, but it turns out we're having a big, Scottish wedding in Scotland and we have to have formal invitations and not use swear words on them.
Here are a few of the things I want to incorporate into the wedding:
Piñatas
I want to make "wedding piñatas" a thing.
Highland Cows
I'm hoping having a bunch of cute cows around me can help me not look like an idiot in photographs. Because that's how I tend to look.
Balloons
Balloons make things fun.
Donuts
I ate four donuts the other day. And while I'm admitting embarrassing things about myself, I called my cat Honey Boo Boo the other day.
Any wedding tips?
The proposal story goes like this: we were in the highlands of Scotland walking back from town to his parent's house and we stopped to look at some cows, which is pretty typical of me because I could watch those guys for hours, even though they were just regular ones and not the highland cows. I talked about one cow for a few minutes until Duncan put his arm around me and said "oh, you like that cow?" and I said "yeah" thinking that maybe he's finally warming up to the idea of us having some livestock all up in here, and then he asked me to be the next Mrs. Macdonald (and if a lady with that name can't have a couple cows then I don't know who should!). Anyways, WORST SEGUE EVER. From cow to marriage. And I didn't even get that cow out of it.
So now I'm kinda planning a wedding, but by planning I mean looking at pinterest a lot. I've concluded that most weddings are expensive and tacky. I always thought I'd have more like a picnic wedding with lots of pie, but it turns out we're having a big, Scottish wedding in Scotland and we have to have formal invitations and not use swear words on them.
Here are a few of the things I want to incorporate into the wedding:
Piñatas
I want to make "wedding piñatas" a thing.
 |
| Source: confettisystem.com via Diana on Pinterest |
I'm hoping having a bunch of cute cows around me can help me not look like an idiot in photographs. Because that's how I tend to look.
Balloons make things fun.
Donuts
I ate four donuts the other day. And while I'm admitting embarrassing things about myself, I called my cat Honey Boo Boo the other day.
Any wedding tips?
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
My Saturday Night
I'm pretty cool, right? Like totally hip and with it and radical and all that jazz. Total cowabunga and gnarly to the max.
But not so, my friends! Not so.
Here is the internal transcript that ran through my head this past Saturday night - at 9 PM!
If I go to the store to get ice cream, I'll have to change out of my pyjamas. If I don't change out of my pyjamas I won't have any ice cream. Clearly the win win situation is to go the store in my pyjamas right? And I should probably take somebody with me so I don't look so crazy. But the only person here is my cat so she'll have to do.
This was the completely natural progression of my thoughts. This is how my brain works now. When I used to be all GIVIN' ER all the time partying and being fun and whooping it up or whatever the young kids do, now I'm staying home to eat peanut butter and talk about housewives with my cat. It's like I'm a childless parent. At least if there was a baby around it would seem like I'm parenting. I've been watching a lot of great parenting shows, like Here Comes Honey Boo Boo so I'm pretty with it on key parenting phrases like "work it smoochie!" and "you do the do, you do the time" (for teen pregnancy.) Once I get my cat a t-shirt that says "Big Sister" on it, it's like I'm totally ready to be a parent.
So that was my Saturday anyways. I also tried learning how to tie some knots. It was knot successful. PUN!
But not so, my friends! Not so.
Here is the internal transcript that ran through my head this past Saturday night - at 9 PM!
If I go to the store to get ice cream, I'll have to change out of my pyjamas. If I don't change out of my pyjamas I won't have any ice cream. Clearly the win win situation is to go the store in my pyjamas right? And I should probably take somebody with me so I don't look so crazy. But the only person here is my cat so she'll have to do.
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| via |
This was the completely natural progression of my thoughts. This is how my brain works now. When I used to be all GIVIN' ER all the time partying and being fun and whooping it up or whatever the young kids do, now I'm staying home to eat peanut butter and talk about housewives with my cat. It's like I'm a childless parent. At least if there was a baby around it would seem like I'm parenting. I've been watching a lot of great parenting shows, like Here Comes Honey Boo Boo so I'm pretty with it on key parenting phrases like "work it smoochie!" and "you do the do, you do the time" (for teen pregnancy.) Once I get my cat a t-shirt that says "Big Sister" on it, it's like I'm totally ready to be a parent.
So that was my Saturday anyways. I also tried learning how to tie some knots. It was knot successful. PUN!
Thursday, August 2, 2012
Crafting With Cat Hair
I accidentally found this. At first this seems like a cuckoo thing - crafting with cat hair! But is it? Is it really?
I wonder how long it would take to make a life size cat from cat hair? And how about a dinosaur-size cat? Because there's probably no point in making a cat from cat hair if it's not dinosaur sized. With flame throwers.
Now I will never make any crafts from cat hair because I'm just too lazy to do, you know, any kind of work, but if I wasn't I think I would maybe just consider making that little finger puppet guy! He's got a little collar and a teensy bell! It's pretty cute and maybe it makes more sense than using sheeps wool to make a felted cat? Or is this kind of like how human adults drinking cow's milk seems fine but breast milk is gross?
Well, I just don't know.
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| via Amazon |
Now I will never make any crafts from cat hair because I'm just too lazy to do, you know, any kind of work, but if I wasn't I think I would maybe just consider making that little finger puppet guy! He's got a little collar and a teensy bell! It's pretty cute and maybe it makes more sense than using sheeps wool to make a felted cat? Or is this kind of like how human adults drinking cow's milk seems fine but breast milk is gross?
Well, I just don't know.
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