Friday, October 29, 2010

Vintage Travel Posters

When I was younger, my only dream was to travel around the world. I had delusions of being some sort of wandering free spirit that didn't wear shoes and said "right on, man" and smoked from hookahs and had run ins with foreign police. I'd be a cross between Dean Moriarty and Sissy Hankshaw, and I'd be on the road. Just GOING, ya dig?

Turns out that's crazy talk. I'm way too simple for those sort of adventures. I would probably explode. I quite literally had a dream last night that I was in an elevator. And that was it. Just being in an elevator. So my dreams have changed a little bit. I've lowered my expectations a tad.

UNLESS we're talking about time travel. THAT I would be all over. I love the big ol' stupid internet, and sure it makes things easy, but it really takes away the romance and mystery of travel. Places just don't really seem exotic anymore. I want to live and travel in Hemingway's Africa, in Kahlo's Mexico, in Glassco's Paris, in Neruda's Chile. In their times. When pianos bars were smoky and filled with jazz and blues and the air of revolt! When the early morning streets were dirty and dusty and filled with songs fueled by tequila! When the air was filled with voices and language and laughter and secrets!

These posters take me there. To that time, to those places, to that magic. (All images from grain edit)

I can not believe people actually shoot animals. Come on. Watch some Disney movies. Side note: I almost got hit with a piece of a toilet bowl at a football game in Argentina. Another note: I did get hit with a frozen fish at a hockey game in Canada. I know what it's like to be a target. 

I love this. TABLES TURNED. Nowadays I've heard of radioactive boars being on the rise around there, which probably makes hunting a lot more interesting. And more radioactive too.

I went to Switzerland and had a cheese fondue, and it totally makes sense that they advertise cheese as a reason to visit. DEE-licious. Second reason to visit: cows wearing bells on their necks.

 
I would definitely go to Finland if I got to go there by way of flying fish plane. Maybe even in a regular plane.


 
I want to go to Africa so bad, but I sort of die in the heat. Also, a lot of what I know about Africa comes from those commercials about foster kids, and I really don't like the idea of flies crawling all over my face. The other bit I know about Africa comes from the Simpsons episode where they win a trip there.  "I want to ride in a convertible with zebras, punch out Mohammad Ali, shoot a lion in the face..."

I love Paris, even though there's lots of dog poop. The bums drink wine out of paper bags in the streets! You know what's in the paper bags here? Glue and syphillis and a world of broken dreams.

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Participation!

I don't normally participate in things (lazy! lack of motivation!) but I thought I would join in this game of tag going around to help me finish off my work day.

It started with kelli g. of bug miscellany and then went on to Brooke Ann Dove of On the Wings of a Dove and then Ana from Erban and then Maddy from Madeline Elle. Probably others too.


What is your theme song?
Ca Plane Pour Moi by Nouvelle Vague - I don't know any of the words.
   
Where is it you are dying to visit?
Africa. I want to see all those animals before the poachers get them.
I also want to have breakfast with giraffes.
 
Namibia

If you were a cupcake, what flavor would you be?
Cherry-vanilla, because I'm just a little bit sassy, but mostly I'm boring and watch too much tv. 

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If you had an arch nemisis, what would his/her name be?
 Sir Walter Alarm Clock. I'm a sleepyhead.

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If you could live as any ficitonal character, which would it be?  Why?
Maybe Big Bird because then I'd be best friends with Snuffy.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Andy Goldsworthy (and my terrible temper)

I've loved Andy Goldsworthy's work from the first moment I saw the documentary Rivers and Tides. That was the day the Documentary channel proved its worth to me, and then cemented that proof with a film about female pimps later that week.

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His work is beautiful and soothing and calm, although painstakingly tedious to construct. In Rivers and Tides, it shows him piling stone after stone to make his signature hive structures, only to have the whole thing collapse on him after hours of work. He looks defeated, sure, but he just sighs and starts piling rocks again.

That is some impressive self control.

I just recently used a metal file to file some skin off my thumb, and then proceeded to stab my hand with a screwdriver (I drew blood, no biggie). So I threw the makeshift bowling pin lamp at the couch and shrilly exclaimed "I DON'T WANT TO DO THIS RIGHT NOW!". At that point I can't help but think to myself: "take it easy, lady". Take it easy, indeed.

Monday, October 25, 2010

Farm Animals

I think it would be so great to grow up on a farm, around animals. I like to think I'd be like Charlotte from Charlotte's Web where she tried to save the animals instead of slaughtering them. Oh wait. Charlotte was the spider. Well, that's ok too. She tried to save Wilbur also. But I was really talking about the little girl in the story. 

Anyways, here's some pretty photos of farm animals, all from National Geographic.

Black Sheep
Poor little black sheep. I loved when we were in Scotland last year around lambing time or whatever it's called and all the little baby lambs were in the fields with all these turnips (which I though were rocks). Lambs and turnips make a very adorable combination.

Pigs
Now that's adorable. And even the momma is pretty cute. Although this pig reminds of Jackass 3 when a pig eats an apple out of a very fat bum. That poor pig. It must have really liked apples. I thought pigs were supposed to be smart, but eating bum apples isn't very smart.

Stallions Fighting
This fight scene seems a little forced. No one is really into it, and I just don't see any intensity in their eyes. Stallions, you're fired. Pretty hair though.

(Intense) Shetland Cow
See this guy? You can't even see his eyes, but you know he's intense. That is one intense cow! He is very, very focused on something. Or he's sleeping.

Cows
This is like an ad for a dairy campaign or something. Happy cows with access to fresh water, a huge field for grazing and the prettiest open sky. Across the water? Abattoir.

I hope one day I'll live in a nice little place where I could have some little animal friends and maybe a goat that would stand on a cow, like in that Radiolab story. I would still never tell custom officials that I've been on a farm though. That's still an acceptable lie (even though I really want to tell them: "I was on a farm! I saw little baby lambs and touched a cow!")

Mondays

Am I the only one who hates Mondays and loves lasagna?

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Oh yeah.

(It's wet and cold and I just threw coffee all over my telephone. Also, my eyebrows look like Andy Rooney's today. Monday! Bah!)

Friday, October 22, 2010

Ridiculous

I get it that people want their weddings to be special and original and full of magic, and some people get it right, but sometimes things just seem so phony and and showy and ridiculous. I realize I'm being a bit of a party pooper on this "love" idea, but oh well.

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This guy is wearing shorts. And holding onto a hot air balloon. The hot air balloon IS pretty cool looking. But still.

Ridiculous.

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This guy is wearing riding pants, and they're white. And there's no way she's riding a horse in that little dress. She does not need to be wearing a helmet.

Ridiculous.

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Um. No.

Ridiculous.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Losers

Yes, we're losers. We're not going to Hawaii. Not yet. I guess we'll just have to settle for New York and Scotland. Ugh. This recession!

I hope to finally go the Museum of Natural History in New York. I'm excited to go with Duncan's 4 year old nephew, Auden, who is pretty much a dinosaur scientist. He also knows that platelets help blood to clot.

I love museums (ignore the fact that it's been about 10 years since I've been inside a museum). LOVE them. Truly.
American Museum of Natural History, Ostrich | New York, New York 1977
American Museum of Natural History, Rhino | New York, New York 1977
And then to Paris one day to see these beasts...
Museum National D'Histoire Naturelle | Paris, France 1982
Museum National D'Histoire Naturelle | Paris, France 1982
Museum National D'Histoire Naturelle | Paris, France 1982
There's something creepy about taxidermy but when there's a bunch of dead animals all together in a pretty building, I sort of want to see that. Very Indiana Jones or Ernest Hemingway or something.

All photos by Richard Ross

Monday, October 18, 2010

Hawaii in My Head

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Duncan and I entered a draw to win a trip to Hawaii, and tonight we find out if we win. I have a good feeling. Like the time I kept buying coca cola products in college so I could win a bike. And I won. Then I gave the bike to my mom and it got stolen. So I guess the thief won that one actually.

Anyways, now I've got Hawaii on my mind. I've never been, and I picture it as a perfect paradise with lots of sunsets and hibiscus flowers and surfing.

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You know what else I think there's lots of in Hawaii? SHARKS. I think some biologist or scientist (someone much smarter than me) said that in Hawaii there's basically always a shark near you. It sounds a little exaggerated perhaps, but I basically picture something like the below. Except I'm a little bigger than her.

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I don't think it helps that I'm plump like a seal either. I hate being scared of sharks, because I actually think they're kinda cool. Poor misunderstood, murderous beasts.

My Christmas Guide - Part 1

For me and other cool cats.
Cuckoo Clock  




Some little gold animals  
Nixon Time Teller (White)
Beaver Ring
Lapis Lazuli Ring   
Royal We Necklace
Quoddy® tweed and leather grizzly boots

Chances are I'll end up buying some of these things myself before Christmas. I'm not very patient. And I'm a big fan of buying myself presents for special occasions.

What's on your wish list?

Friday, October 15, 2010

Theatrical Ruins

There's something so beautiful and haunting about abandoned buildings. I love old theatres. Best thing: no people (except maybe some phantoms).

 RKO Keith's Richmond Hill Theater, New York
Loew's Palace Theater, Bridgeport
 Fabian Theater, Paterson
Central Park Theater, Chicago
Casino Theater, New York

From Yves Marchand & Romain Meffre:

"In the early 20th century, following the development of the entertainment industry, hundreds of auditoriums were built everywhere in North America. Major entertainment firms and movie studios commissioned specialized architects to build grandiose and extravagant theaters.

From the 60's, TV, multiplexes and urban crisis made them becoming obsolete.
During the following decades, when they were not modernized or transformed into adult cinemas, they closed one after the other and many of them were simply demolished.

Those which remain forgotten, escaping from this fate, were converted to varied purposes.

Now, many are reused as churches, retail, flea markets, bingo halls, discos, supermarkets or warehouses. Some others just sit abandoned.

This work, started in 2005, is currently in progress."

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

BC Footwear

I used to have these shoes a few years ago, and I loved them. The left one was just slightly different than the right one. I was wearing them when I first met Duncan and drunkenly pointed that out to him as I blathered on about how much I liked my shoes. (That's called "being smooth", ladies)

(The shoe is called Coast to Coast and it's made by BC Footwear)
Discontinued! Can't find these anywhere.

I've been trying to find them again, but all my searches have proved fruitless! It's so hard to believe there's not one pair out there on the internet somewhere. I wore these things until they were practically torn off my feet. Damn these elusive devils!

P.S. If you see these shoes somewhere, would you mind letting me know? Thanks kindly!

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Eastern Europe

And why I think it's so enchanting:

matryoshka dolls

beets (beets, bears, battlestar galactica)
castles
dracula 
textiles
gypsy caravans
accordions

I resisted the urge to put Count Chocula on there. What would you add to the list?
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